We are frequently asked about the existence of foods that enhance sexual desire. On whether “there is something I can take to have a libido.”
In our collective imagination, there is the idea that certain substances have aphrodisiac power: it is enough to take them to feel like “sex”.
But with sexual desire, things are not so simple, since it depends on multiple factors of a different nature: physiological, experiential, cultural, psychological, and relational.
Without questioning the fact that certain foods can have an energizing effect and that they can generate well-being, this is not enough for a person to have sexual desire.
In order for a person, be it a woman, a man or a non-binary person to feel like having sex, they have to “be able” to feel like sex.
And this means? Well, to have sexual desire, it is crucial to have enjoyed sex before, to have built an idea of sex associated with a certain satisfaction…
For those who have never experienced sexual relations with pleasure, or even for those who have experienced them with discomfort or displeasure, it is difficult to think that some magical product is going to make them want to.
Its not that easy. The body and the physical state influence the libido, but not in such a simple way. Desire has much more to do with learning, experiences, emotions, intimacy and partner relationships, among other elements.
For this reason, it would be of little use to take oysters, chocolate or cinnamon (to give an example) to a person who does not have sexual desire because they have never enjoyed sex, have not had orgasms, are not attracted to their partner or suffer a vital crisis or a depression.
I would like to point out that when I speak of “sex” I mean both sex that involves the genitals (penetration, intercourse, oral sex, masturbation, etc.) and sex that does not involve the genitals, which is also sex and is also important. (caresses, kisses, bites, hickeys, playing, rubbing, whispering…).
And it is important to be clear that sexual desire can be materialized in many ways, that it is not only the desire for penetration, intercourse or genital contact, but it is also having a desire to want to snuggle with your partner, fondling, caressing, kissing… incidentally or not to other things.
Furthermore, not all people are the same, nor do they experience sexuality in the same way or have the same interest in sex.
There are many people for whom sex is not something so important, many people for whom sex in its most genital sense does not have much incentive but nevertheless enjoys everything else a lot, there are people who do not have much interest in maintaining relationships sexual with their partners, or this interest is only manifested in certain situations (when they are in love or there is a romantic relationship).